"Highest Calling"...really

REALLY really, sometimes things are said that just seem to cut straight to the quick. You know they most likely weren't said with that intention in the least, but it doesn't change how it hurts.

This happened to me today, I know I won't be able to give an exact quote so know this is as close as I can remember & almost exactly what "I" heard...

The highest calling is to raise the children God has given you in the way...

I don't remember the end of the statement cause that's about the point when I began trying to not sob uncontrollably in the middle of everything.

Not only had this week been really rough in other areas of my life. I have been very discouraged,  feeling like a failure because I'm not taking care of my home & husband as I should.

The statement was followed up by a good reminder that the thoughts of inadequacy are not from my Heavenly Father and He has made me for wonderful things.

However then you add in the struggle I have constantly, the everyday battle to be content and this was a recipe for uncontrollable sobbing and running...almost, didn't quite hit light speed...out of the door after church. I didn't say bye to any of the people I should have or do any of my responsibilities because I didn't really want to answer the question, "Are you alright?" Cause yes I am and no I'm not.

Now dealing with not only the emotions of the morning but the guilt for not doing what I "should" have after church because I wasn't ready to talk to anyone. I don't really know what to do, it's almost Mother's Day and this is one of the hardest times for me it seems. I would just like to crawl into bed for a few days, no weeks and then come out when its over and move on. That, however isn't an option. So I go on asking the Lord for strength, still wondering why this has to be so hard. Knowing that He has a great plan, it feels like it would be better to know what His plan is. However, maybe it wouldn't be and I just need to walk on in faith believing that He has it under control.

I want to share a couple other blog posts. The first one is a blog my sister-in-law shared, and it is SO true!

Can You Imagine - Lauren Casper

The second is a blog post I wrote in 2010 ~ still so true!

Tomorrow is Mother's Day - Jennifer Hall

I'll try to write again soon, I don't really know what closure to put here. I would love it if I were a more eloquent writer and could beautifully express my feelings but instead I just put them here...for whoever happens by to see them......